A few hours ago I was headed into the apartment building with the boyfriend. Two small boys were also entering the same door, both maybe 7 years old. We all get into the elevator and I hear one say to the other, “...scratches leave evidence.” And it was really sad.
Now, maybe I am assuming WAY too much about the nature of their conversation, as that was really all I heard clearly. But I know the first thing that made me think of was assault. Specifically, a sexual assault against a woman. Not that dudes never claw each other in a fight, but swinging fists are more the norm, yeah? This isn’t about pearl-clutching about kids knowing about violence and engaging in mock violence. I know when I was a kid, me and my 3 brothers and 1 sister would fight each other all the time, with hands, sticks; we called the bigger games that involved other kids “War.” I also recall having a pretty intense fascination with gore and violence, and I still do, to a degree. Anyway, it’s normal for a child to be curious about things outside their realm.
But at 7 years old, that thought would never have crossed my mind. Because why would I care? If I smack my sister, she’ll get pissed, and then my parents will intervene, or not, whatever. I’m not worrying about the cops and being tried and imprisoned. But, then, that was then, this is now, and for all my family’s dysfunction, I still experienced a very privileged upbringing. So, there’s that. But it just struck me as tragic that THAT was the topic of two little boys discussion. On top of that, I read a statistic recently that talked about kids being aware at an earlier age of the concept of rape (specifically, little boys) which just made me want to stab the nearest anything.
I don’t know if they were talking about attacking/fighting another little boy, or a little girl; neither is pleasant prospect. There isn’t really a point to this post, so much as I wanted to express how much overhearing that exchange bothered me. And I’ve hear and seen plenty of horrible things, but it was a “from the mouths of babes” kind of thing that just really depressed me. How fucked up is our entire world when babies are talking about this shit? When babies are having it done to them? Ugh, I just can’t.
All that said, I’m trying to find a balance between how fired up I get about The Issues and how to stay sane. I know the “Personal Is Political” and yada yada, which is a GOOD thing, but as a hot-off-the-grill feminist I wonder if I don’t overreact to things sometimes. My boyfriend, who I started dating at the start of the real change of my world outlook, has been very patient with me, and I with him. He thinks I go too far sometimes, I think he’s brainwashed sometimes. All within rational discussion, and it varies topic to topic. But I don’t want to be so fire-and-brimstone that I push people away from or out of discussion. I want to make the people I engage with THINK. And I know that’s not going to happen often, if at all.
Taking that a little farther, even if I am, hypothetically “overreacting” to things, as a member of an oppressed class, isn’t that EXACTLY what I should be doing? Because it’s not really and “overreaction” is it? And why should I be rational, and patient and NOT point out blatant misogyny when it all too frequently rears its pernicious (totes Word of the Day, yo) head? People rarely change their mind via rational debate anyway. You debate with others in order to rationalize your own POV. And as that’s the case, why bother even having rational discussions. The facts are out there. Anyone can find them, I managed to, and I’m not exactly a pro at navigating through bullshit. So instead of trying to present facts that are very easily found, shouldn’t I just be yelling and screaming and setting shit on figurative fire? Because that’s how points are made these days, it seems. I remember several years ago, when I was still -gasp- REALLY conservative, my also conservative brother made a point that the Right needed to be louder and more obnoxious in order to win. That’s what the Left was doing, and at the time, shit was getting done. And whaddya-fuckin-know, my brother was right. Because now we have dangerous TrueBelievers like Bachmann.
So, you know, it’s something I’m still trying to figure out. I am only just now really learning about the gross inequalities present in the world, maybe I should be a little patient with my friends. Also, now I have a blog with which I can publish my rants! Yay!
-Starbuck
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